From the moment you first glimpse your little one, life begins to change. All of a sudden your focus shifts from what used to be important to how to be the best mother possible.

Luckily, there will also be others looking to invest in your baby. Grandmothers, friends, and other extended family members may play a vital role in your baby’s development.

As Mother’s Day draws near, it can become difficult to determine what woman to celebrate when so many have been involved in your (or your baby’s) life.

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Ultimately, you’ll need to determine what type of Mother’s Day celebration is best for your growing family. Take a few minutes to think through what you desire for your first mother’s day, how to celebrate the women in your extended family, and ways to recognize the women who have invested in you.

Your First Mother’s Day (and Beyond)

Your first Mother’s Day is a special time and, as such, it’s the perfect opportunity to decide exactly how you want to spend it.

Perhaps the best advice I’ve ever heard is that, as a new mother, whatever emotions you’re feeling are okay. There’s no right or wrong way to feel in the early days of motherhood.

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So, if you’re looking forward to showing off your new addition at a big family gathering, send out the invitations. Or if you’re craving a quiet day to celebrate your growing family, don’t feel guilty by gracefully declining requests for brunch.

Whatever your desire, communicate early with your loved ones. Let them know your hopes for day so it’s special in just the ways you desire.

Extending the Celebration

Before your family grew, you likely celebrated women throughout your extended family on Mother’s Day. Your mother, mother-in-law, grandmothers, or even aunts may have all been recognized in your extended family’s Mother’s Day celebration.

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When baby comes, all of a sudden you may find yourself a bit overwhelmed at the thought of celebrating so many women. Scheduling time away from home and gathering gifts for each other can feel insurmountable for the overtired new mom.

It’s important to find a balance between recognizing woman in your extended family and taking time for yourself to regroup and enjoy your growing family.

If a normal mother’s day includes getting together in person with extended family, consider scheduling a time for this on an alternate date. Or use the convenience of technology to video chat with loved ones this year so you can skip the travel time and spend it with baby. If giving gifts to the women in your extended family is typical on Mother’s Day, consider something small, like a plant, a picture of your baby, or the gift of a time together.

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Recognizing Your Roots

Mother’s Day can be a struggle. Difficulties conceiving, recovering from a miscarriage, or losing a mother can make celebrating this holiday somewhat tricky.

You’ve likely found women, other than those directly related to you, that have been foundational in your life. These women have stepped in and and invested in you, they’ve strengthened you and helped you develop into the kind of mother you desire to be. Recognizing the women who have been important in your journey (regardless of their motherhood status) is an important way to view Mother’s Day.

Consider jotting a quick note this Mother’s Day to the women who have inspired you. Skip the guilt and plan to keep your celebration simple but meaningful for the women in your life.


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Jess Wartinger

Jess Wartinger resides in rural New York with her husband and five children. Formerly an early elementary teacher, Jess currently spends her time loving her kids and holding down the fort at home.



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