The "Touched Out" Mom Phenomenon

Expert says Mom needs more time alone.

by Sandee Gruner
Nov 24, 2018

Today’s world is a trying place for Mom. By the end of the day many moms are finding that they are touched out. Being 'touched out' means there is no desire for physical touch. Hugs, kisses or being intimate with their partner is just not in the cards after a day of cuddles and clinging, coupled with working outside of the home in many cases.

According to Parents.com, Mary Kay Fleming, Ph.D., a professor specializing in human development, early childhood, and parenting at Mount St. Joseph University in Ohio, pointed out that in past generations women were socialized into the full-time motherhood role, they were not expected to be a mother and also be full-time professionals...some of the pressure being felt by mothers that are touched out could be a culmination of all the demands, not just the direct physical demand of a child.

Dr. Fleming offers four ways moms can take control of being touched out.

Take a Break
"Taking a break can be the absolute best treatment in certain situations," Dr. Fleming says. "Moms need time to themselves, and time away to refresh, refocus, and replenish that deep reservoir needed to nurture."

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Communicate
"The adults need to communicate with one another about their needs and expectations, for one another and for their children, and get on the same page," explains Dr. Fleming.

Direct the Touching
Add in touching that is beneficial to your well-being. Maybe a massage or a pedicure.

Battle Those Unrealistic Expectations
"Another enemy is unrealistic expectations," says Dr. Fleming. "If we expect ourselves to give 100% all the time, with anything less perceived as failure, we're doomed before we begin. No one can meet those expectations."

Sandee Gruner

Sandee Gruner is a full-time working mom with a love for writing and communications. She resides in Southern California with her husband and two children, where she enjoys spending time with her family, exploring local attractions and volunteering.