Loving Ways to Support Family and Friends After Miscarriage

Ways to walk the ones you love through the unimaginable.

A miscarriage wrecks your inner being in unimaginable ways. 

It's hard to explain the loss you feel after a miscarriage or stillbirth, especially to someone who's never experienced it. After a woman experiences a pregnancy loss, it can be hard to know what to do and how to function. She may feel lost, empty, broken, and alone. 

It's during the trying days after a miscarriage that friends and family can step up and provide the love and care that is needed. 

There are many ways to care for a woman and her family after a miscarriage or stillbirth, in both tangible and intangible ways. 

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Tangible Ways to Provide Care After Miscarriage

There are multiple ways to provide tangible care to a woman and her family after she experiences a pregnancy loss. 

  • Take them a meal. After a miscarriage, a woman (or her partner) may not feel up to cooking, but food is a necessary part of life. By providing a meal, you are lifting her burden and allowing her time to heal.
  • Provide childcare. If the woman who experienced a pregnancy loss is already a mother, she may not feel up to taking care of her other children. Offer to take her kids for a day out so that mom and dad can have time to gather their thoughts and reflect.
  • Send a self-care gift basket. A miscarriage places extreme stress on a woman, both physically and emotionally, so it's important for her to take care of herself. By giving her a basket, you'll encourage and give her the opportunity to indulge in self-care.

Intangible Ways to Provide Care After Miscarriage 

Sometimes, after a pregnancy loss, the most effective care is provided in intangible ways.

  • Be a good listener. Sometimes, after a miscarriage or stillbirth, a woman really needs a good listener so that she can share her struggles and heartbreak. You don't need to have all answers, but the act of listening is a beautiful and valuable thing.
  • Be empathetic. If you have suffered a pregnancy loss, share your experiences, so she realizes she's not alone. After a miscarriage, it's easy to feel alone, to feel like you're broken, and to question everything you've done. By being empathetic and sharing your own experiences, you can help facilitate healing.
  • Pray. After a person suffers loss, it's normal to want to help them and make their pain go away. Unfortunately, it's not always (ever) in our power to help bring about healing. The best way we can help bring healing to a hurting woman after she loses a child is to pray for her. Pray that God's peace, his strength, and his love washing over your hurting friend or family member.
  • Give her enough time to grieve. One mistake that people often make after a woman suffers a pregnancy loss is to expect her to bounce back right away. Sometimes, it takes longer than we expect for a woman to go through the stages of grief. It's important that we don't push her to reach the final stage before she's ready. 

After a pregnancy loss, it will take time for the pain to lessen and subside, but as friends and family, we can make the journey to healing a little easier by offering support in both tangible and intangible ways. 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, ESV). 

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