Forget Me Not: A Valentine's Day Warning

Learning to directly ask for what you need from your mate this Valentine's Day.

We've all been there. We've assumed our significant other can read our minds. And when, low and behold, they can’t, we are left a little bewildered and disappointed.

My husband and I are going on ten years of marriage and have been through enough holidays and special occasions to have learned that direct communication up front can save a lot of heartache.

Valentine's Day is around the corner, and you may be like me: a mother of babies. This year, a night out in a tight red dress, heels, a full face of makeup and my hair curled does not sound as appealing as it once did.

However, a glass of wine and an early bed time are MUCH more alluring.

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Even though I may not desire to make a big deal out of Valentines Day, I still want to be made much of. I don't want to be forgotten amidst the whirlpool that is young children and babies.

As all frustration is birthed out of unmet expectations, I encourage you to have a conversation with your beloved a few weeks before the holiday is upon us and talk about those hopes. Here are a few tips we have learned over the years:

Accept that your love is valuable and worth being celebrated.

By allowing your spouse to treat you well and adore you, you are modeling excellent values before the little eyes that are watching. It is good to honor the love that you two share, and to take the time to pause and reflect on it.

Ask for what you want and state what you need.

Do you want flowers? Would you prefer a hand-written card vs a poem-filled Hallmark? Or is it a coupon for a two-hour uninterrupted nap? Let him know. Tell your spouse a few specific things that you would appreciate this year, and then let him have the freedom to choose.

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Evaluate where you are in life as a new mom and feel free to make changes.

Ignore the pressure of a big night out. Maybe the best thing for you and your beloved is a quick jaunt to the local pizzeria between baby's feedings. Order a heart-shaped pizza and cherish the moment with your little one in toe.

Whatever you decide to do to celebrate your love, remember, it is that love that started your new little family, so honor it.

Be upfront, realistic, and supportive of each other in this new season of life with babies, holidays and special occasions.

As for me, with two littles under my feet, I have asked my husband to bring me a mocha in the morning along with five specialty truffles from a local shop. My plan is to eat these chocolate delights over the next week with my afternoon cup of coffee and extend the celebration.

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After all, one can't go wrong with caffeine and chocolate. 

Now tell me—what are you planning this Valentine's Day?

Lena Vogelgesang

Lena Vogelgesang

Lena likes to define herself by the Seven C’s: Christ, Chris, Children, Comrades, Coffee, Cheese, & Cardio. Due to her love of coffee and cheese, she must also have a relationship with increasing her heart rate. The Lord has given her a wonderful husband in Chris and they have two young boys.

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